This is an email going around that I thought was pretty funny and so much of it was true!! I'm looking out for you and edited out the ones that I didn't think were as good.
Random Thoughts From People Our Age-
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.-
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I canthink about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.-
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you'regoing in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.-
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.-
Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?- ***or, I assume that I'm showing up on their FB as a 'person that they may know' and they didn't want to be-friend me...and, if they don't want to be friends with me, I don't want to be friends with them...how's that for maturity. :)
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.-
There is a great need for sarcasm font.-
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?-
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.-
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clearyour computer history if you die.-
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying tofinish a text.- ****that is so me on July 31, 2010 when I get my I-PHONE!!!
LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".****not me!!! If I say LOL, I really did laugh.-
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.-
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.-
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".-
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?- ***That doesn't work with Charlie...he will keep repeating it until I figure out what the heck he's saying.
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!-
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a completeidiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney andsaid "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"-
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road andinstinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.- ***That is FUNNY!!!
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.-
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.- TOTALLY...I'm way too nosey I guess.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in theshower first and THEN turn on the water.-
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,and you can wear them forever.-
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that theirprofile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!- I've done that and got some major "scoop" on a friend's ex....way more fun than it should have been. :)
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?-
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to goaround and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....-
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything else productive for the rest of the day.-
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don'twant to have to restart my collection.-
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.-
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.-
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of peoplewatching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but willthey judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren'twatching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up andleave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'- ***Totally Me...I can't handle the pressure!!
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times andgoes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?-
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then notseeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.-
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something shehasn't already told me but that I have learned from some lightinternet stalking.-***I'm ok with that...if you read my blog, feel free to tell me.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and stillnot know what time it is.-
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.-
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what wouldhappen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?-
It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com andthe link takes me to a video instead of text.-*** I HATE that...Charlie always runs when he hears the audio to find out what he's missing...I have the same problem with blogs that have music...computer time is over for me when that happens...must go play with trains now!!! :(
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone theydrive behind obeys the speed limit.-
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.-
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.