Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Is the grass greener over there???

Ben (yesterday, in a whiney, snotty tone) said: "I can't wait to be a grown up so that I can do what *I* want to do all of the time".

Are you friggin' kidding me?!?!

To say I was a little ticked off would be a bit of an understatement. Maybe if he would have said it for a reason other than he was just ticked off because he would not have any more "free time" to play Wii for the day, I would have been a little more understanding. Or, maybe if he hadn't said it on a TUESDAY! when I spend the whole day running all over heck for my family, I might have been a little more understanding. But, the fact that he chose yesterday, a day that I spent not doing a single thing for *me* (except blogging and showering), until 8:45 at night , to basically announce that grown-ups, (and he was totally directing this at ME!), spend all of their time doing exactly what they want to do every day, was just not good. And, it really didn't result in my best Mommy-ing Moment.

I don't remember exactly what I said, but I do vaguely remember mentioning grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning floors and laundry. And, come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that Cub Scouts, Soccer, Wii and reading "My Weird School" books was mentioned too. And, if I had to guess, I would guess that my tone was probably a bit on the nasty side. Like I said...not my best Mommy moment.

So this morning, I remembered the "conversation" with Ben from yesterday. Since today I was able to spend time thinking about it with a clear head, and not running into the Park District building with kids and dinner, to pick up another kid from baseball, because we had 1/2 hour to get all of us to R.E., I was able to be a little more objective.

Ironically, in my objective state of mind, I was able to see that Ben was kinda right. I mean, of course, he wasn't right to say it to me in a snotty way when I was obviously doing the best that I could, for him and his brothers. But, he is very right that being a grown-up *is* cool.

I actually remember feeling the same way when I was a little kid. And, it was not like I had a rotten childhood. I actually had an awesome childhood and I like to think that my kids are having a pretty great childhood too, but the problem is that I (and probably Ben) like being in control. A child is not in control. They do spend a good portion of their time playing and doing fun things, but they are not in control. They get up when we tell them to, they go to school and get bossed around all day, they do the chores that we decide they should do, they watch the shows that we let them watch and they go to bed when we make them.

Being a grown-up is hard too, more than a 6 year old could ever imagine, but I personally like eating McDonalds and M&M's any time that I want. I like staying up late to read, or blog, or play Wii if I feel like it. I like deciding what to buy....with the money that Spencer gives to me ;), and deciding what colors to paint my house. I like picking out my own vacations and I'm always happy that I'm a grown up when I feel like wearing jeans to church...sorry Mom. ;)

After my epiphany, I was excited to talk to Ben this afternoon to tell him that I "got" what he was saying yesterday and I agreed with him!! I know that it did make him happy to hear that. I continued to talk, but I guess he had heard enough because he interruped me to see if *I* could get *him* a snack.

Ummmm....yeah, it must be nice to be a kid!!


Michele said...

awesome post! Mine are a bit younger, but the same struggles exist. Love that you took your own "timeout". I'm not sure I would have handled it with such grace:)

Cathy said...

Kelly.. interesting story.. although I don't know how to response to this?!?!?

I see Ben's point that we "boss" them around and we can do whatever we want... but in the same time... he is just a young kid and doesn't understand all the reasons why we do what we have to do. I am sure when the time comes... he will understand.

But then... I also see your point of view on this... you are running around like crazy doing everything for everyone... because there is no one else to do it! You are being "Super Mom" ... doing everything during the day with the kids since you spent most of your time with them.

You know... I just thought of something... when the time is right... maybe you can "switch" roles with Ben (except for the driving). You can try this on a day when you have no school... but you have tons of other things to do and no time to play on the Wii! It might be worth the shot??

Good luck! You are an amazing mom Kelly... I still don't know how you can do it all!! :)

Tash said...

Yes kelly you are an amazing Mom, The best mommy moments "out number" the not so great mommy moments. I think it is greener over there----my "good" mommy moments are lacking these days---but that is with a female tween,I'm gonna try to agree with her and see how that goes.