I have NOT vowed to wear long-johns every day until Spring. That would be kind of woosie for a girl that grew up in this horrible climate.
I did NOT super glue my index finger to my thumb last week. Only careless, stupid people super glue themselves together. And, I am neither careless nor stupid...just ask me.
However, if I had super-glued myself together, I would NOT have had to google with my left hand to learn how to unstick myself. Furthermore, after googling the information, I would NOT have soaked my already dry, cracked hand in a concotion of peanut butter, anti-bacterial wash and NAIL POLISH REMOVER because that would really hurt!!
And, after having an uncomfortable experience like that, I would NOT have taken my 4 kids to the Park District for Ben's soccer class...with my fingers STILL STUCK TOGETHER...stupid nail polish remover/anti-bacterial wash/peanut butter soup that DOESN'T WORK!!
I am NOT still finding sparkly "snow" from this craft project that Rick and Elaine brought the boys before Christmas. At the time, Elaine did NOT suggest that the "snow" part of this project might not be a good idea. But, if she had, she would NOT have been really RIGHT!! That Elaine is NOT really smart.
When one of my children discovered, in the car, on the way to school, that he forgot his "optional" snowpants, I did NOT offer to pay this child 50 cents if he did not get upset at school about it.
And, one of my other children did NOT purposely "forget" to wear his snowpants to recess so that his brother would not be sad about forgetting his. That would have been too nice and not something a brother would think to do...especially with all of that fun snow out there. And, it definitely would NOT have been sweet BEN that was looking out for his brother. And, that little move of Ben's did NOT cost me 50 cents. ;)
What didn't you do last week???